Bridesmaids: A Comprehensive Worksheet

Things not going your way? Before you become a bridezilla check out some of our favorite solutions for dealing with wedding day stressers.

Ring Bearer

The Problem: Your nephew — and ring bearer — doesn’t like wearing button-downs and keeps crawling out of that adorable tux you got him.
The Solution: There’s no reason to hold  buy ball gowns yourself above bribery in this short-term situation. Tell him he’ll get an extra special surprise at the reception if he just keeps his shirt on during the ceremony—feel free to offer his favorite toy, food, or TV show as bait. Just make sure you have a corresponding bonus on hand for the flower girl.

Bridesmaid

The Problem: You’ve finally found the perfect strapless gowns for your maids — and one of them freaks out and refuses to wear it due to “upper arm issues.”

The Solution: Find out if the style comes with discount ball gowns sleeves or other necklines and let her choose one that makes her feel more comfortable. There’s really no reason to obsess about whether your bridesmaids are identical (a little mixing it up is practically the norm these days). This is a battle that may not be worth fighting — let it go and tell her to wear what she’s comfortable in.

Relative

The Problem: You’ve explained the
dress code countless times, but a family member still plans on wearing something inappropriate.
The Solution: Telling her she can’t wear something makes you sound like a bridezilla. Instead, phrase it as “We’re all going to be wearing…” so the person feels you’re including her in exclusive, wedding-party-only plans. You can give designer ball gowns guidelines like “My mom is going to wear lavender, so we’re asking that other family members stay away from pastels,” for instance.

— Heather Levine

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